Friday, June 11, 2004

Bluewin - The Empire Strikes Back

11th July 19:00 Hrs Zulu:

Disgusted, annoyed, pissed off..%&@*(")" and more. I've heard the wise saying: "Shit Happens".

Seems to be happening to me everyday since this project started. (If only I told the boss not to sign the contract on a Tuesday)

Lights camera....flashback....

10th July @ the apartment watching another lousy Hindi movie: After a relaxing Thrusday break at the Ammersee (a beautiful lake about 30 mins from Munich) and a couple of ma├čes of beer, life could'nt be more fun..

11th July 09:00 Zulu: Made the biggest mistake by writing to Bluewin asking them how the test was running..

11 July 09:15 Zulu: The heavens come crashing as I read the e-mail. Only one word seems to occuply my mind.."BUGS". The profound happiness and joy of the 10th seemed so far away..

11 July 10:00 Zulu: The dreaded phone rings. ring ring...

Me: Hello Aventeon this is Ganesh
Boss: Cut the crap, just read the email from Bluewin. Whats happening
Me: Errrrrrr.. (for 5 secs)... Err (another 5 secs)
Boss: Well?
Me: Still trying to figure out the problem saar..
Boss: Lemme know how it goes..slam!

Same day 10:30 Zulu: Another e-mail from the client. Darn! Where the F%&* did those bugs come from? Helplessness, confusion, irritation..on the verge of insanity..

Meanwhile in Seattle...

Its 11th July 0100 hrs PST: At an apartment in Bellevue:
Snore...snore...snore...our man Jagadish is deep in slumber, his REM causing those delightful little dreams...

Action back in Munich: Me thinking .... Machan Jagadish onakku irukku vetu inikki...

11:00 Zulu: The gods must be crazy me thinks..the connection to the PAB is not working..meaning I cannot test..Yippeeeeeeeee...me starts to think abt the weekend plan once again..

11:30 Zulu: Ring...Ring..

Me: Hello?
Boss: It's me again. And????
Me: Trying to test on their servers Saar..no connection Sir, their PAB is timing out...
Boss: (Thinking to himself...if only I could give such excuses to the customers...) Errr send out an email quick and get the stuff moving. I want to have a conference call at 16:00 Zulu today.
Me: (Thinking NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...please send me to Abu Ghurayb prison even Guantanamo Bay..but not another phone conf with the folks at Bluewin...I have a theory that 94% Swiss German combined with a dose of 3 % German German and 3% of Indian english can cause levels of mental devastation that can only be dreamt of by the folks in the CIA or the Mossad).Ok saar..

11:45 Zulu: Probably a world record for work efficiency in a large Swiss telecom company....the PAB conenction is up and running..and I get to hear the news...

12:00 to 13:30 Zulu: My face contorted into a 1000 different poses, trying to figure out how one of the bugs escaped my testing..good news at this time is that 1 of the reported ones is not a major issue and the boss has been told how he can handle this one. Issue 2 cannot be re-produced..I act over enthu and decide to download MS office 2002 again to see if the bug is reproduceable..(the downloads is still running...thank heavens for small mercies..)..the only culprit left seems to be a tricky one..

13:30 Zulu: Grab something to eat courtesy Prashanti, my collegue..

14:00: Kai tells me how to re-produce the error and Im totally drained out for the day..

14:30 CET: ring ring again

Me: Hello? (Is the lowest of spirits hoping to gain some sympathy from the boss)
Boss: Whats the status..is the PAB running, are we able to reproduce the bugs, have u got more feedback
Me:(123rd Cebrebral Battalion down, need reinforcements...)...Trying sir, the first 2 are not reproduceable...working on the thirs, will send you a detailed email..(Thinking this was a really smart answer to avoid more phone calls)
Boss: Ok. keep me posted and I want you to spend the weekend testing and making sure we fix any other bugs..this is our last chance..
Me:(Alpha calling command headqauarters, come in..being pounded by heavy artillery, and miscellaneous fire..pls help)..Wo...Wo...Wokay saar...surely saar will do my best saar...(damn damn damn..another weekend bites the dust)
Boss: Thanks..slam!

Begin to wonder about my previous karma, my current karma..vague thoughts bordering nowhere..

15:30 to 17:30 Zulu: Browsing the net, deviod of any thought process..drifting into zombie land..

17:40 Zulu: Alert on the Messager: Jagadish K has just signed in..

Meanwhile in Seattle: Jagadish to himself as he opens his computer. Another lousy day..should I log-on? I've had enough of crap from this dude (obviously referring to me)..think i should work on a COM D-COM MINUS COM add ANOTHER COM plug in into MSN to block this dude forever...

Immediately the dreaded popup.." Hi mams"

Jagadish: Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!! Begins to wonder about his previous karma, current karma..vague thoughts bordering nowhere..finally... "Hi da"

Next 10 mins: I narrate the events of the day... Jagadish has nothing to say and at the end of it neither do I...

20:30 Zulu: Numbed,mentally mutilated, physically exhaused, spiritually crushed..

20:31 CET @ Bluewin: Gentlemen, the empire has struck back!!!!!!!

At the time of publishing this blog, I am parallely trying to put all my creative energies into finding a new name for the project....

Meanwhile the download of Outlook XP is almost over.....so much for small mercies..







1 comment:

Shobhana Kumar said...

detached, dry humour. i guess your mind works a lot like mine. more pressure, more creative!

how did you survive those years da? you've done 24 hours non stop several times, haven't you?

p.s. my offer for freelance writing is still open! :)