Monday, July 26, 2004

Desi english movies and their effect on moviegoers.

After a couple of beers and good nights sleep, I woke up on Saturday, feeling fresh as a daisy. A peep through the window was enough to tell me that bad weather was arriving. Darn! Another weekend down the drain.

During such agonizing times, I find it best to go down to my collegues place and get some free sappad. I found mysef at Prashanti's place at about 14:00 (I managed to get a new Casio watch by the way) and after a good meal, sat down to watch some TV. Schumacher was on pole again and this only added to the agony. (double darn!).

Having nothing else to do, I looked at a DVD thatw as lying near by. The title was something like "Knock, Knock, Looking to marry". My sixth sense which was unusually alert this day (it usually shuts off after a plate of "thair sadam"), told me that I was gonna make a BIG mistake. Curiosity got the better of me and I though to myself..hmm maybe I can get some tips on how I can find meself a girl after all.

The next 2 hours proved to be worse that the torture that PoW's found themselves in WW 2 in Japanese controlled territory. I would have been better off being a Jap pilot on one of those Mitsubishi Zeros comitting Harakiri in Pearl Habour.

The movie, apart from the decent looking babe, was the most pathetically directed film I've seen in a quarter of a century. (The 2 years before that was somewhat fuzzy..). a pictorial representation of how my body reacted is depicted below.

Phase 1: Subject is in perfect health. Anticipates a real good movie.

Phase 2: Initialization of iskemic condition in valvues V2 to V5. Time: 5 mins into the picture.

Phase 3: Blood flow patterns begin to reverse. Signs of severe Myocardial infarction coupled with
loss of all kinds of hope. Metabolism levels reverse and subject is now on a one way ticket to nowhere. Timeline: 10th minute onwards to the interval break.

Phase 4: Severe disruption of blood flow to main arteries. Massive cardiac cum celerebral cum neural network arrest. Time line: Post interval to god knows when (subject has lost all sense of the 3 dimensional and quasi calabi yau space world that he is a part of.)

Result: Subject now turns into a petrified, de-generated soul trapped in a dimensionless world. Director to his audience: "Mission Accomplished".

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